This is why you hire a stager (or fire your real estate agent).

I have a treat for you!

Remember last week when I was checking out the MLS listings and came across what seemed at the time like it may have been the scariest house ever? Granny's gone wild? Yup. That one. Well my friends, I think that I may have found a place that tops that one.

But before we begin, I feel the need to rant a bit. While I love finding the ugliest of ugly spaces to share with you, I feel like I've got a bit of a beef with the real estate agents that are choosing to post these pictures. Obviously, not every home that gets posted is going to chic and put together, but seriously....dirty dishes in the sink? Messy table? Unmade beds? Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

http://www.uglyhousephotos.com

Isn't it the real estate agent's job to make a place look as good as it possibly can before listing the property? Isn't it their job to tell you to clean up a bit....hide the strange family photos, stash your collections that might be less than tasteful, tell your teenage son to take down his Jessica Alba (or whoever it is that teenage boys fantasize about) posters? Isn't that why they get paid the big bucks when they finally make the sale?

I don't know who the agent is for the following place, but all I have to say is -

Anyways, without further rambling, I present to you the ugliest (or maybe the second ugliest) house that I've seen (in the past week). Let's start with the lovely, bright, clean and fresh looking kitchen....or not -

Dirty dishes? Seriously? Dollar store blind too small for the window? Where to begin?

Is it the dining room? The home office? The library? The storage room? Don't even get me started on the faux rock walls and wicker corner cabinet....

Not even Barbie has this much pink going on in her dream house.

I don't know what's a worse cardinal sin of decorating - the pictures hung way too high, the peeling paint on the door, the scary wood panelling or the dead plant hanging out by the TV? You pick!

Lastly, we've got the living room...which feels even tinier when you decide to cover the front door access with a giant chair. I'm not going to comment on the picture frame which is high enough up that only Michael Jordan (he plays basketball right?) can see the shots. Let alone the fact that it's ugly.

Oye.

I'm thinking that it's time to start rethinking this whole buyer gig. The world needs guys like me to tell people just how ugly their places are and then work with them to make them as attractive as possible for resale. Something to think about!

D-

And this is why you hire a home stager....

If you're anything like me, you randomly wander over to your local MLS listings from time to time to see what's for sale (or to snoop and see what your neighbour's house looks like). And if you're even more like me, regardless of how nice the rooms are appointed, you'll find something that you'd change if you were to move in.

However, there are also times when you're flipping through listings and you'll come across a home that literally has you asking out loud "what the hell were these people thinking?!?" Or better yet "weren't these people told by their estate agent that their blood red dining room and heavily paneled living room is doing nothing to showcase the home?!?"

I figured that for the fun of it, from time to time I'm going to see if I can come across 'the best of the worst'....rooms that are so bad that you can't help but want to shake your head.

Here's what I came up for this first round - 

Room number one features reading lamps suitable for someone nine feet tall, a painting of an eagle and some sexy dirty paneling....homey huh?

The last thing that I want to do in room number two is cook or eat. That wallpaper border is terrifying. I'm pretty sure that they're supposed to be flowers, but they kind of look like nasty scary lips. Non? That and anyone who tells you that green counter tops are a good idea needs to be slapped (just saying).

And last but not least, we have room number three.  Instant popcorn when you want it the most!? Everything about this room is wrong from the furniture colour and carpet to the couch, college dorm room lamp and brass accents. I say we open the front door and push everything out into the street. I'm all of upcycling and reusing elements of a room, but this is bad....to the power of ten.

I've seen a few spaces in need of refreshing in my time. Tell me about the worst space that you've ever seen. Or better yet, if you've got a picture, I want to see it!

D-