Monday, 27 June 2011

This is why you hire a stager (or fire your real estate agent).

I have a treat for you!

Remember last week when I was checking out the MLS listings and came across what seemed at the time like it may have been the scariest house ever? Granny's gone wild? Yup. That one. Well my friends, I think that I may have found a place that tops that one.

But before we begin, I feel the need to rant a bit. While I love finding the ugliest of ugly spaces to share with you, I feel like I've got a bit of a beef with the real estate agents that are choosing to post these pictures. Obviously, not every home that gets posted is going to chic and put together, but seriously....dirty dishes in the sink? Messy table? Unmade beds? Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

Isn't it the real estate agent's job to make a place look as good as it possibly can before listing the property? Isn't it their job to tell you to clean up a bit....hide the strange family photos, stash your collections that might be less than tasteful, tell your teenage son to take down his Jessica Alba (or whoever it is that teenage boys fantasize about) posters? Isn't that why they get paid the big bucks when they finally make the sale?

I don't know who the agent is for the following place, but all I have to say is -

Anyways, without further rambling, I present to you the ugliest (or maybe the second ugliest) house that I've seen (in the past week). Let's start with the lovely, bright, clean and fresh looking kitchen....or not -

Dirty dishes? Seriously? Dollar store blind too small for the window? Where to begin?

Is it the dining room? The home office? The library? The storage room? Don't even get me started on the faux rock walls and wicker corner cabinet....

Not even Barbie has this much pink going on in her dream house.

I don't know what's a worse cardinal sin of decorating - the pictures hung way too high, the peeling paint on the door, the scary wood panelling or the dead plant hanging out by the TV? You pick!

Lastly, we've got the living room...which feels even tinier when you decide to cover the front door access with a giant chair. I'm not going to comment on the picture frame which is high enough up that only Michael Jordan (he plays basketball right?) can see the shots. Let alone the fact that it's ugly.


I'm thinking that it's time to start rethinking this whole buyer gig. The world needs guys like me to tell people just how ugly their places are and then work with them to make them as attractive as possible for resale. Something to think about!


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